Miracle of Miracles

I began writing this before I was ready to post it all. So here you will have a lot to read all at once and it will slowly be a little more like just one post at a time LOL
Miracle of Miracles!!

Here is another mountain to climb, but this is the beginning of new happiness!

Today is July 18^th 2012 and I took a pregnancy test that came up

POSITIVE!!!!

I’ve been testing for a couple weeks now because I KNEW I was pregnant. I just knew it! But of course I was too anxious and was testing too early, I can only guess that I am a few weeks along but I won’t know until I visit the doctor’s office. I am beyond thrilled and at this point I haven’t even told James yet! I can imagine we will just laugh and cry. It’s just so strange because it’s our second pregnancy and I just don’t know what to expect this time around. Could I guess it will be similar? Will it be completely different? Who knows just yet. So far I have only taken one test today, but 3 total. The first two were negative without a doubt. I’m still on the hunt for a new OB/GYN and we will see what will come of that. I’ll have to talk to James to see what our options are. I don’t know how I will tell James, last time I started by asking about the holidays and what our plans would be for visiting families (I had positive tests on nov. 10, 2011) so it was a normal conversation. He of course asked why, if I had a plan or anything and I just said- Oh, because next year will be different! He looked at me like I was nuts and I handed him the 5 positive pregnancy tests!! He just dropped them on the floor and smiled like I have never seen!

This time… I’m not sure, maybe just say hey guess what, I’m PREGNANT! I don’t know. He knows that we have been trying so it’s not a huge shock but it’s still a miracle that we have been praying for. I’m going to stop here and continue with my story after I tell James!

 Well I kept my secret from James until he was off work, I had always promised to tell him these things in person and not over the phone or in text message. He called to let me know he was on his way home and I was bouncing around like a crazy person trying to keep the excitement out of my voice. It usually takes him 20-30 min to get home and about 20 some minutes later he called to tell me he stopped by the cemetery.(On Wednesday’s we pick up items or potted plants that we would like to keep because things get tossed on Thursdays every week.) So being Wednesday- this was what I should have expected but with all my new found AWESOMENESS I completely forgot what day it was! I had to calm myself a bit and told him, that I really wanted to go there with him and if he could wait for me to get there. We live less than 10 minutes from the cemetery so he agreed to wait for me. He didn’t suspect MUCH haha. I finally got there, obeying all traffic laws of course. I had put the tests in my pocket and got out to meet him. It’s always emotional when we go there and I started tearing up. This time though, with a little more joy in my heart. I can’t remember exactly what I said but I took the tests out of my pocket and I had one that had the word PREGNANT on it and I handed it to him.

Huge smile again and here are his famous words… “Are you f*****g kidding me!” hahahahah Thanks for your beautiful words in this woah moment lovely husband of mine. HAHA but honestly I can’t blame him-  After what we have been through, this is a bright light coming to us in the darkness that we have been healing from.

Since we found out that we had lost Wyatt we have constantly prayed for the strength to heal emotionally, for the patience to heal physically, and for the trust in our Heavenly Father to send another sweet spirit to us.  I write in a personal as well, and I write to Wyatt. I tell him things and explain things and ask things. It’s just what I do and it has been helping me, I feel. I remember specifically writing to him and asking him to tell his siblings how awesome his mommy and daddy are and to tell them they don’t need to wait long to join our family LOL. I might be crazy but oh well I’m PREGNANT!!

I went to the doctor on Thursday and it was confirmed and NOW I have to wait for my referral in the mail. This part sucks because I want to know that everything is ok and how far along I am and make sure that I love my new doctor. I called many many offices and most don’t take my insurance or they are not accepting new patients.  BOO but I feel I will be sent in the right direction. I’m going to stop here now until my next appointment and ultrasound so I can tell you how far along I am and post an ultrasound picture!!!

Pregnancy Week by Week

Today is July25th 2012 and I am guessing maybe I could be 6 weeks along. Currently as I’m writing this there is only a handful of people who even know that I’m pregnant again!! Soon you will all know… soon hehehe

This is my second pregnancy and I wanted to keep a better record of this one as I progress.

I lost my first son at 31 weeks gestation April 23^rd 2012. I took pictures of myself and kept up with weekly posts about his growth but I never got the chance to write about it like I am doing this time around. I just know I will have the opportunity to raise this child here on this earth and I want to have a physical memory book to share with them about their time growing in mommy’s tummy and about their special angel brother Wyatt who is watching over us all.

(I want to thank Jessica Barney because I stole her little survey from her pregnancy posts)

How far along: I’m guessing about 6 weeks- still waiting on a referral to get into the Ob

Total weight gain/loss: Same place where I started from but I got pregnant before I lost my last 10 lbs from Wyatt’s pregnancy. I’ll start counting from my official weigh in when I meet my new Ob

Maternity clothes: Nope just my regulars- which were maternity last time HAHA

Stretch marks: The old ones, nothing new

Best moment this wk: Being able to spill my secret to one more person, slowly but surely

Miss anything: Nope- I’ve stayed in pregnancy mode since last time so I’m just continuing my healthy path

Movement: No such luck ;)

Food cravings: Zucchini and grape tomatoes! Heck yes, LOVE healthy cravings

Anything making you queasy or sick: Nothing specific just yet- I only have that constant faint nausea at the moment

Symptoms: Body aches and the nausea

Have you started to show yet: No I’m just still fat from my last pregnancy

Gender: No idea

Labor signs: None at all, good thing!

Belly Button in or out: In

Wedding rings on or off: On

Happy or Moody most of the time: That’s a tough question because pregnancy is just an emotional rollercoaster to begin with and to deal with everything is kind of hard, but this is the journey meant for me and I’m all in!

Looking forward to: My first ultrasound just to know that all is well and to know HOW FAR ALONG AM I REALLY????

I will try my hardest to post something weekly and post a weekly picture. I really want to complete this book.

Today is July 30^th and I had my first prenatal visit today with my new OB Dr. Prema!

I love her. She spent more time asking me questions and telling me some plans to keep this pregnancy healthy than my last OB spent my entire 7 ½ months with him. Sorry but it’s how I feel.

We were able to see how far along we are and HOLY SMOKES this time I’m not as far along as I guessed- Last time I was WAY farther along than expected. How funny that these differences are ALREADY noticeable. Ok so drum roll please, I figured you are reading this because you are ready to know how far along I am hahaha. OKOKOK I’m 4 weeks. A mere FOUR weeks! WOAH but I am so thankful that I was able to be checked this early because it gives me more time to make sure that my dr and I do all that we can to deliver a happy and healthy baby!!!

I’ll even share my ultrasound where all you can see is the sac- but pregnancy confirmed and we are on this journey FULL STEAM AHEAD!!!

I may be crazy sharing this all so soon- you know, the taboo of sharing before 12 weeks for safety? Well, I don't care about that- there is no safe time so I'd rather share with you all now so you can be apart of our new happiness and joy!!

Plus, I'm a bad at keeping my own secrets.