Holy smokes! A year ago tonight, at this time, I was checked in and waiting for the arrival of our beautiful baby girl.
The journey of this last year has been more difficult than I would like to write all about. I cannot believe what we had lived through, cried through, put everyone else through, just to get to this moment to see our very special and beyond blessed little baby girl McKenna Lee Lamason reach her first birthday!
I am thankful every day that my Heavenly Father entrusted me with this beautiful spirit. To let me be her mother. To enjoy her giggles, to experience her milestones, to encourage her to try new things. All in this first year! I am exploding with excitement to see what the rest of her growing years will bring our way.
It has been much more difficult emotionally than I can put into words. Every moment that goes by is a reminder of my precious angel that is not here on this Earth with me. It has been hard watching her grow wondering what it would have been like to have both of them surrounding me. I know all will be well, and that we will be together again, but it doesn't make it easier.
I am grateful for the learning experiences I gained because of Wyatt. I am thankful for things I would have never experienced without knowing his loss.
I don't want to make anyone sad, I don't want to make myself sad but it's the truth.
I want to be the best mom I can be for them.
I can't believe how quickly time has gone, how much more I have learned. How much more I have ever pushed myself. Realizing how much more there is to learn and again realizing you never really know....
It is hard for me to write about how much I love my daughter, knowing how much I love my son and not being able to write the same things about him. I almost feel like I'm cheating him, even though I'm not. I don't want to ever express that because I don't mention him every day or to everyone that I'm not always thinking of him. He is the biggest part of who I am today and the reason I am and will be the BEST mom I can possibly be for McKenna.
My baby girl means everything to be and I'm the lucky one to be able to call her my daughter.
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