McKenna was born one week ago today! She has been such an angel in this short period of time that we have been able to get to know her :) She's amazing and fantastic and beautiful and just the best thing in the world!
Here goes McKenna's arrival story <3
We had a scheduled induction at the San Gabriel Hospital Monday night March 11th. James and I arrived at 8pm and were admitted and prepped for the impending delivery of this baby girl. I was hooked up to monitors and had blood work done and all that jazz. FINALLY about 11pm everything was ready for the nurses to administer the Pitocin. Before the medication started I was dilated to 2 cm and 80% effaced. This really isn't much at all in the labor process. Most women are stuck at this progression for weeks before they begin active labor. Knowing this, I was concerned that I would be revisiting a 36 hour labor process. Of course this was old fears and painful memories flooding me at the most inopportune time BUT you can't stop these thoughts when you are vulnerable.
I knew all was going to be great. My dad and brother gave me a blessing before we left for the hospital and James received a blessing from my dad as well. My pregnancy with McKenna was closely watched and monitored and we knew from the beginning that all would end fabulously with a gorgeous baby girl in my arms.
Thankfully as well, my contractions started on their own before the medication began- this gave me hope that things wouldn't take long. I couldn't wait to get past this and just have McKenna here and safe. As the Pitocin continued I dilated pretty quickly to 4cm and my contractions weren't too painful at that point but I did ask for some pain medication around 4 am. I can't remember what it was but the one that lasts for 2 hours... GRATEFULLY I was able to sleep for those 2 hours. With the knowledge that TODAY (Monday) was the day things would start rolling, James and I were up early and ran many last minute errands. The anticipation really kept us from being able to get that fantastic last night's sleep- but at 9 1/2 months pregnant how fantastic is your sleep anyway ;)
Pretty much like clock work, the pain of the contractions returned just after 6am. They were consistent at 2 minutes apart and getting stronger. My blood pressure was going up little by little but nothing too concerning. I was used to seeing my pressure at an average high of 120/60. Usually it was 111/56 for the majority of my pregnancy. The last couple months it would go up a point here and there. Also, you've got to love that final swelling from the IV- just saying. ANYWAY
6:30am came around and I had a strange sharp pain just off center of my stomach. Then I had to ask myself if I had lost control and peed myself or if my water just broke!?! I hadn't experienced that before so it was an interesting feeling... I woke James up and called the nurse. Then I had a couple of gushes like people say happens so I knew my water had really broken lol. The nurse was happy about that because apparently she had assumed Dr. Prema was going to have to come in and rupture it for me which would have us waiting longer for the actual delivery. As soon as the nurse confirmed I was at 8cm she called Dr Prema.
Because of my water breaking, the Pitocin was stopped and my contractions came on full force. I had asked for an epidural at this time and just after 7am I was calm and relaxed waiting for the final stretch (no pun intended haha)
My parents took my brother Billy to school and came to the hospital just after that, Dr Prema arrived about 9am and I was just over 9cm. Everything was brought in and set up- there sure were a lot of nurses and machines being moved around the room lol.
I obviously didn't know what to expect and from other women's stories and even the baby shows on TLC- many women push and push for hours. I was so afraid of that. Nothing else scared me- the pain of the contractions or anything. It was the pushing and I was scared I wouldn't be strong enough to do it.
Dr Prema said it was time and I was ready to push. I had James and my mom in the delivery room with me. This was it- it was time and McKenna would be here soon!
I pushed for 10 minutes. 10 minutes. I couldn't believe it! What an added blessing.
Just before the iconic last push Dr Prema saw McKenna's umbilical cord was around her neck. I didn't know, but when my water broke McKenna's heart rate dropped dramatically. This was because with her final drop from the bag breaking it put strain on the umbilical cord.
Because of this Dr Prema had to cut the cord and have me push fast to get this baby out and checked over. I don't think James minded not being able to cut the cord as long as his baby girl was A-OK.
They took her right away and I wasn't able to see her at first. James could see her, my mom could see her but from my position there really was only so much you could see. There were so many nurses as well that it was like a complete body wall blocking me from seeing my daughter. They moved her 3 times from one table to another then back to the first and it was McKenna's third trip from one side of the room to the other that the nurse holding her brought her to me so I could kiss her face.
I always have to share some TMI lol
With a vaginal delivery comes risk of needing stiches... I unfortunately I tore and needed 4 stiches but this was nothing compared to knowing I had just delivered a beautiful healthy baby girl. Because of these stiches James got to sit and hold McKenna first which is what I really wanted for him. I had spent the last 38 weeks with her experiencing things that he will never know. It was amazing to see him sitting there rocking his baby girl.
FINALLY after everything, EVERYTHING, I was able to hold my daughter for the first time. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen and I surprised myself by not crying. I fully expected my self to be a ball of tears but everything was just overwhelmingly fantastic and happy that there just wasn't room for tears.
We were in the hospital till Thursday afternoon and being released was the best and scariest feeling in the world. We knew we would finally be bringing a baby home and then again, we would be bringing a baby home! In the hospital you have everything for help at your disposal and at home it would be (technically) James and I and McKenna against the world.
It has just been amazing so far and I wonder when and what I will write about. I want to keep this up so hopefully I will find the time to just do small updates on McKenna and her progress as she learns and grows.
James and I love you all. We appreciate all your kind words, thoughts and prayers through all of our mountains that we have climbed and have yet to climb. McKenna is a blessed little girl to have so much love surrounding her. We can't wait to introduce her to everyone. She goes to her very own Dr tomorrow morning and we should have a better idea of when would be best to start slowly having people come see her. I just don't want to rush her and run the risk of her getting sick from over exposure. I'm thankful to have so many people who love me and understand. I just tend to be the one who overreacts at times and I worry more about everyone else's feelings- but I know everyone understands and no one will be mad at me for making them wait it out just a little longer to meet this precious angel.
She means the world to me and I just can't imagine life with out here. We've been home now for 4nights and it has been the best 4 nights of my life.
I'm sure there is so much more I could write but it's time to feed the baby :)
Love you guys!
Jen James and McKenna :)
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Rainbow Baby
I found this on another mother's blog. I wanted to share it. I tweaked it a little to make it about Wyatt and his new little sister McKenna who will be here before we know it.
A rainbow baby is a blessing given to a family after losing a baby in any way. It's the promise of hope and new life, second chances and a new beginning.
A family who has conceived after losing a child will never forget that child, but rather, will appreciate their children even more because they understand the deep pain of loss.
The Dragonfly
Once, in a little pond, in the muddy water under the lily pads,
there lived a little water beetle in a community of water
beetles. They lived a simple and comfortable life in the pond
with few disturbances and interruptions.
Once in a while, sadness would come to the community when one of
their fellow beetles would climb the stem of a lily pad and
would never be seen again. They knew when this happened; their
friend was dead, gone forever.
Then, one day, one little water beetle felt an irresistible urge
to climb up that stem. However, he was determined that he would
not leave forever. He would come back and tell his friends what
he had found at the top.
When he reached the top and climbed out of the water onto the
surface of the lily pad, he was so tired, and the sun felt so
warm, that he decided he must take a nap. As he slept, his body
changed and when he woke up, he had turned into a beautiful
blue-tailed dragonfly with broad wings and a slender body
designed for flying.
So, fly he did! And, as he soared he saw the beauty of a whole
new world and a far superior way of life to what he had never
known existed.
Then he remembered his beetle friends and how they were thinking
by now he was dead. He wanted to go back to tell them, and
explain to them that he was now more alive than he had ever been
before. His life had been fulfilled rather than ended.
But, his new body would not go down into the water. He could
not get back to tell his friends the good news. Then he
understood that their time would come, when they, too, would
know what he now knew. So, he raised his wings and flew off
into his joyous new life!
~Author Unknown~
Wyatt is that curious water nymph that crawled up the Lily stem to check things out on the other side - Heaven. But as he was making his way there, he got weary and had to rest his eyes, and then God took him home to be with Him. When he awoke he was beautiful and had his angel wings and was healthy and perfect.
And he wanted to tell us that everything is okay. To come back and reassure us that he isn't gone for ever, that we need only wait until our journey takes us to him, but alas, angels aren't meant to live on Earth.
So we have to wait until it's our turn to climb the Lily's stem and be taken home to him.
And our beautiful rainbow baby? McKenna is the reminder that Wyatt will never be far from us. Every laugh, every smile, every coo, every cry, every milestone: Wyatt will be right there. Watching us and waiting for the day, whenever that may be, that we will join him in Heaven.
"Rainbow Babies" is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope.
A rainbow baby is a blessing given to a family after losing a baby in any way. It's the promise of hope and new life, second chances and a new beginning.
A family who has conceived after losing a child will never forget that child, but rather, will appreciate their children even more because they understand the deep pain of loss.
The Dragonfly
Once, in a little pond, in the muddy water under the lily pads,
there lived a little water beetle in a community of water
beetles. They lived a simple and comfortable life in the pond
with few disturbances and interruptions.
Once in a while, sadness would come to the community when one of
their fellow beetles would climb the stem of a lily pad and
would never be seen again. They knew when this happened; their
friend was dead, gone forever.
Then, one day, one little water beetle felt an irresistible urge
to climb up that stem. However, he was determined that he would
not leave forever. He would come back and tell his friends what
he had found at the top.
When he reached the top and climbed out of the water onto the
surface of the lily pad, he was so tired, and the sun felt so
warm, that he decided he must take a nap. As he slept, his body
changed and when he woke up, he had turned into a beautiful
blue-tailed dragonfly with broad wings and a slender body
designed for flying.
So, fly he did! And, as he soared he saw the beauty of a whole
new world and a far superior way of life to what he had never
known existed.
Then he remembered his beetle friends and how they were thinking
by now he was dead. He wanted to go back to tell them, and
explain to them that he was now more alive than he had ever been
before. His life had been fulfilled rather than ended.
But, his new body would not go down into the water. He could
not get back to tell his friends the good news. Then he
understood that their time would come, when they, too, would
know what he now knew. So, he raised his wings and flew off
into his joyous new life!
~Author Unknown~
Wyatt is that curious water nymph that crawled up the Lily stem to check things out on the other side - Heaven. But as he was making his way there, he got weary and had to rest his eyes, and then God took him home to be with Him. When he awoke he was beautiful and had his angel wings and was healthy and perfect.
And he wanted to tell us that everything is okay. To come back and reassure us that he isn't gone for ever, that we need only wait until our journey takes us to him, but alas, angels aren't meant to live on Earth.
So we have to wait until it's our turn to climb the Lily's stem and be taken home to him.
And our beautiful rainbow baby? McKenna is the reminder that Wyatt will never be far from us. Every laugh, every smile, every coo, every cry, every milestone: Wyatt will be right there. Watching us and waiting for the day, whenever that may be, that we will join him in Heaven.
Soon to meet Miss McKenna
So much is about to change and we are so excited. Knowing that McKenna is going to arrive in mere HOURS, many hours but it's only hours and not many days away any longer, is driving me crazy with anticipation and worry thought and every other emotion under the sun!!
At the same time emotionally, welcoming McKenna will be bittersweet for us. We miss Wyatt every single day and I have wondered how I'm going to feel postpartum. I'm sure I will be just fine but it doesn't stop the constant thoughts of worry and fear. I'm just writing this to be open and honest. Wyatt would have been 11 months old next week and thinking about McKenna finally being here puts me in the position of thinking how things would have been, again if it all had turned out differently. What would we be doing, how much would I have changed, even- what theme would we be planning his first birthday party.
Life goes on but we keep our memories and love alive for everyone around us whether they are still here on this earth or watching over us from above.
I will be admitted to the hospital tomorrow night and my Dr expects McKenna to arrive Tuesday at any time. We will definitely keep you all posted that's for sure :)
At the same time emotionally, welcoming McKenna will be bittersweet for us. We miss Wyatt every single day and I have wondered how I'm going to feel postpartum. I'm sure I will be just fine but it doesn't stop the constant thoughts of worry and fear. I'm just writing this to be open and honest. Wyatt would have been 11 months old next week and thinking about McKenna finally being here puts me in the position of thinking how things would have been, again if it all had turned out differently. What would we be doing, how much would I have changed, even- what theme would we be planning his first birthday party.
Life goes on but we keep our memories and love alive for everyone around us whether they are still here on this earth or watching over us from above.
I will be admitted to the hospital tomorrow night and my Dr expects McKenna to arrive Tuesday at any time. We will definitely keep you all posted that's for sure :)
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Pregnancy Progression Post
We have arrived home from our LAST dr's appointment!!!!
I still have 2 NST's to attend and that's just to watch and make sure all is well with Miss McKenna as we continue this process. BUT as of today I am dilated 1cm and 50% effaced. She could come any time this week and if not we will be induced Monday night at the San Gabriel hospital.
We sure have been blessed this entire pregnancy and couldn't have had a better DR!!! I can't wait to meet McKenna and share her picture with you all when she arrives. We are just beyond excited and going a little crazy with anticipation now that we know we are for sure in the last few days before she will be making her debut!
I still have 2 NST's to attend and that's just to watch and make sure all is well with Miss McKenna as we continue this process. BUT as of today I am dilated 1cm and 50% effaced. She could come any time this week and if not we will be induced Monday night at the San Gabriel hospital.
We sure have been blessed this entire pregnancy and couldn't have had a better DR!!! I can't wait to meet McKenna and share her picture with you all when she arrives. We are just beyond excited and going a little crazy with anticipation now that we know we are for sure in the last few days before she will be making her debut!
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
37 weeks :)
Short and sweet-
37 weeks today! We find out tomorrow what Dr Prema is going to have us do, so after tomorrow's appointment I'll have more information for you all!
I normally post on Monday's because that's our regular Dr appointment day but we got moved to Wednesday this week so there's not much new to share just yet.
Potentially we could be welcoming McKenna in the next couple days!!!
Status Update
37 weeks today! We find out tomorrow what Dr Prema is going to have us do, so after tomorrow's appointment I'll have more information for you all!
I normally post on Monday's because that's our regular Dr appointment day but we got moved to Wednesday this week so there's not much new to share just yet.
Potentially we could be welcoming McKenna in the next couple days!!!
Status Update
Total
weight gain/loss:
Ugh total of 19 lbs still until weigh in tomorrow
Maternity
clothes: Stretchy shirts and pants hahahah
Stretch
marks: Nothing new
Best
moment this wk: The possibility of McKenna arriving!
Miss
anything:
Nothing that I'm thinking of right now
Movement:
Absolutely
but at this point because there is no more room for her the movement feels a
little different than before
Food
cravings: Nothing specific. I've gone back to feeling that I would
rather drink something than physically eat anything. Obviously I'm doing just
fine getting my nutrients haha
Anything
making you queasy or sick:
Garlic. I love the stuff but can't stand the smell when things are
cooking
Symptoms:
McKenna dropped a bit and the pressure on my back hips is killing me. I can't
even shift in bed when I'm laying down- You know that feeling when people say
they feel like a truck ran over them hahaha
Have
you started to show yet:
I sure am, no question lol
Gender:
It's a girl! And her name is McKenna Lee
Labor
signs: Braxton Hicks... not fun
Belly
Button in or out:
In
Wedding
rings on or off: On
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy and
irritated haha
Looking
forward to: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH NEXT WEEK AHHHHHH
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)