I have my good days and bad days, good moments and bad moments...
It's been just over 20 weeks since we lost our precious angel Wyatt. The time has both flown by so dang fast and crawled on as slowly as possible. When I stop to really think about my life and where I am and how things are going I have some good and bad moments. It's so hard to think that it could have been possible to have a 5 month old little boy with me right now and knowing that he is in Heaven is really difficult :(
On the other hand I am unbelievably blessed and excited that I am 12 weeks pregnant with Wyatt's next sibling! The joy and sorrow all at once is overwhelming sometimes but for the most part things are going pretty well for us. Next week James and I will be celebrating our 2 year wedding anniversary and it's just thrilling to see how far we have come in a relativly short period of time.
August 24th was our 8th anniversary of the beginning of our relationship and just looking back on these last 8 years and seeing how much we have accomplished together is amazing. I really truly am blessed.
I have alittle less than 2 weeks until my next prenatal appointment and I am so excited like always to get in there, I don't know if Dr. Prema will do another ultrasound or just use the doppler thing to hear the baby's heart beat but either way I'm so excited!
ALSO I was thinking how grateful I was to really think about this time of year with Fall approaching and all- I will be able to go through my entire 2nd trimester and then some through the holidays!! You know how quickly the end of the year seems to go by because every few weeks something's going on? Something to look forward to and it just really comes so fast? HAHAH YES!!! And I'm praying cool weathers comes to stay! Between now and the end of the year there's so much going on all the while going in for all my appointments with the doctor- Sep 18th is our anniversary, October 17 is my dad's birthday, my birthday is Oct 19th and my mom's is Oct 22- my brother's birthday is Nov 11th, Thanksgiving will be around the corner, James' birthday is Christmas Eve, then there's Christmas day and New years! Those are just the big things to look forward too, there are parties and activities and planning all happening in the next few months in between and I couldn't be more excited.
How wonderful to have happy distractions! I'm just hoping that all continues to go smoothly and I pass all my tests for this pregnancy and that I don't get pre eclampsia again and that the non stress tests will pick up NO stress and I will not have to be put on bed rest and I will have this new healthy growing baby right when they are meant to be here with us! And in the next few weeks I'm hoping we can find out if we are having another boy or a baby girl! I just really can't wait!
I appreciate you all taking the time to read this and I'm sorry it started out alittle upsetting. I just can't help how I feel some days. I really miss my little boy but I know this is Heavenly Father's plan.
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