It has been a while since my last post- 6weeks exactly HAHA
Wow, McKenna is 10 weeks old today and I can't believe it! I look at that gorgeous face everyday and still can't even believe that she's here and she's mine! Wow, has Heavenly Father blessed me or what. I'm not sure all of what I can remember of the last 6 weeks but it has been an adventure that's for sure. Learning and growing and watching this little miracle change right before our eyes.
McKenna had her first Dr visit at 8 days old. Everything was great she was the same weight, 6lbs 4 oz but had grown half and inch. She had amazing pictures taken by Julie Andress at 11 days old and her belly button cord thingy fell off at 12 days.
I only had a couple weeks experience with Zombie Mom and I don't want to come across as anything but straight forward but Holy Smokes! We have a sleeper on our hands. Once we figured out her chronic congestion, McKenna has slept through the night (6-9 hours) since 3 weeks old! We have a couple nights here and there where she'll sleep a few hours and wake up because of her congestion or being cold but this is the best blessing I could have ever asked for. I'm telling you, Heavenly Father couldn't have sent a sweeter, more awesomely amazing spirit to James and me. It's not easy don't get me wrong, there are still times where I know only experience will help me get through some things but I'm just so thankful for this earthy angel. I still cry in frustration when I can't figure out what's bothering her but I think this is just New Mom Worries.
McKenna caught a cold about 6 weeks old and an eye infection at 7 weeks so she had a second Dr appointment between the regular physicals. He said there was nothing to worry about. She had her 2 month check up just before 9 weeks old and received 4 vaccinations. One orally and 3 injections. That was so hard to get through but I didn't cry! I wanted to but I didn't. She was a trooper. She did get a bit of a fever that lasted a couple days but was such a happy baby girl through it all- we knew all would be well. She smiled through her days of healing. This was the only time we were up with her more often through the night because of her discomfort. I would rock her to sleep and as soon as I laid her down she would wake up and fuss. Poor baby just wanted to be held. Of course I obliged and fell asleep many times in the rocker with her.
In this time we celebrated Wyatt's first birthday. That was the day McKenna reached 6 weeks old. I had a difficult few days surrounding his birthday. As I expected, but everything was ok. I was/am thankful to have a beautiful baby girl, who shares her brother's features, who smiles at me all day everyday reminding me (bittersweet) of the beautiful heavenly angel waiting for me in Heaven.
The way it all worked out, we blessed McKenna on the first anniversary of Wyatt's burial. I feel it too was a bittersweet day because of our remembrance, but it gave us something wonderful to remember as well. It also happens to be Cinco De Mayo haha. Oh man...
Anyway. That same weekend is also a happy time because James' sister Christy and my brother Billy celebrate birthdays on the 3rd and 4th of May, respectively, and it was just a good weekend to have all of our family celebrating something in one way or another all together. This year Billy turned 16 and was ordained a Priest in our church on the same day as McKenna's blessing so it worked out perfectly to have our family visit from Arizona. 2 birds, one stone hahahhaha
We were able to celebrate Mothers Day with more smiles than tears this year. It was difficult for me because I wanted to just be as happy as I could but unless you have felt this loss it's hard to understand and you'll never know (and I continue to pray that no one will ever have too) but- I will never be 100% happy. There is a part of my heart and James' heart waiting for us in heaven and we will never be 100% here on this earth. We are happy and we feel happiness but that's not what I'm saying. With these milestones and celebrations, we know we are missing our son and nothing will feel normal until we are together again. I can't seem to get the words across like I would like to so I'm hoping this makes sense in some way.
I did receive a wonderful gift from my amazing husband though. Besides McKenna-lol- James spent months trying to get this put together for me without my finding out- and I didn't even have a clue. I opened it and burst into tears. This was the most thoughtful gift he has ever given me in out 15 years of friendship, 9 years of dating, and almost 3 years of marriage. (he's given me some amazing things but this was by far my favorite) James took all my posts that I have been writing in my blog since losing Wyatt and had a book made for me. It ends with my post about McKenna's delivery and he specifically did it so McKenna could have the story of her brother, and why her parents love her as much as they do. I hope it becomes some cool treasure that is found at the bottom of a closet that belongs to my great great great grandchildren sometime in the future when people live on mars or something. I hope to continue my posts and keep up with his idea and have a library of family history. I'm just doing my part :)
Anyway. I know so much has happened and changed and I hope to continue to write as often as I am able.
I started back to work the day after Wyatt's birthday and I spend all my free time with McKenna of course and the days just fly by. It's hard to find the time to stop and write what I can remember but I need to make the effort. It's midnight now and McKenna is peacefully sleeping. She's just the best and I'm just overjoyed. She has grown so much already- This past week she's been fighting to sit up, she can't even completely stabilize her head but she wants to sit up haha. Oh man how quickly they learn, she's going to be a stubborn one who develops way too quickly and gives her parents and grandparents heart attacks and she's just so beautiful- her dad already has plans to lock her away and hide her from boys. I can't wait to play out this adventure and see where life takes us!!!!
